People Still Post

A word to the wise: if you are reading this, then why are you here? Have you nothing better to do with your time? Or is this just a necessary part of your life?

On Berkeley and Its Immediate Effect

A stunning realization came over me as I walked along the broad boulevards of Berkeley. The sun was shining brightly as it powered all of the solar paneled homes in the area. The world smelled freshly painted and the sky was so blue, yet something wasn't right. I walked and walked; I declined to say No on 8, I surveyed the garden of a public school (where they locally grow their own food), and I lay close to the ground to feel the heartbeat of the earth. Diggidoy, diggidoy. Diggi diggi, diggidoy doy doy, can you hear the ground breathing? Yet something felt wrong. What was it?

Motzeai Shabbos I drove by People's Park, yes, the one in Berkeley not the one in Leningrad. As I rambled by in my oh-so-green Lincoln, the answer came to me. There is a human side to all of the ideas and buildings and scenery that I had seen. The human side that we so often forget, the human side that we sweep under the proverbial couch of our psyche. When I walked by the multitude of undocumented-homes (People's Park is the home of the homeless for the ignoramuses that are in the reading crowd), I understood that all we see, is a reflection of man kind's inherent passion to make the world a better place. A Golden Gate Bridge in all of its various manifestations is a bridge to keep man-kind moving. It is the men who died building it, and the men who lived crossing it. A cable car pushes you up, but it will cost you $5. Nothing is free, but without sacrificing the $5, you would have been stuck on the bottom of the hill, "Al Kanfei Nesharim".

People, think when you pass something. Think what it is, what it was and what it will be. Think about whodunit, and who did it. But most importantly, take a picture of it.

Successful weight loss

"Success" is a relatively relative term.
Say you question the success of this blog? Well, this will be the first new post in about a week. Does that define this blog as unsuccessful? I don't think so. It may be even more impressive then the blog flooded with articles.

Why? Because.

Because these articles consist depth. They are not a gathering of letters and words in the form of a blog, rather a blog that forms letters and words. A blog that entertains the dry words to warm and creative ones.
To experience them all would be a farce. Some? That would be boring.

Or maybe they don't? Again, It's all relative..
Is everything relative? Is there no accuracy to realty? Is everything solely a independent perspective? To answer that log onto _________________.com

If Mendel were to lose weight would that be a success?

If this is not viewed by next week, maybe consider probable advertising.

Upon the Realization That You Are Going To Berkeley

I am off to Berkeley tomorrow, yet my only concern is that you all will not join me upon my laborious journey to this spiritual netherworld. You see, when a man sets off to a place as colorful as Northern California, he must know what he wishes to gain. Does he want a new outlook on life in East Germany? Does he want to see the bustling human organ trade in Oakland? Or maybe he just wants to see how it is that they manufacture Jelly Bellys.

What am I trying to say? What I wish to inculcate in you, my friend, is this warm sense of adventure that currently envelopes me. It is that search for America that drives me that I want you to feel, to touch. Yes my goals are simple; I shall gaze upon the Golden Gate Bridge spanning that great bay and all at once see the skyline of a once great city, lying burned and broken in the ash heap of social experimentation. But you, you my friend, will you have gained as much? Will you feel and taste and see that which I have seen? You say you will? I, for one, highly doubt it.

Why do I doubt it? I doubt it because I will be there, and you will be sitting in the muggy Brooklyn sun, sweltering under the heat of oppression. The oppression of the mind. The oppression that only you may break yourself free of, on a bike.

Truly Touched

I am so happy and excited to be invited to this citadel of human knowledge the likes of which can be found all across the length and depth of the world wide web. It touches me especially to know that I have been invited by one of the deepest thinkers of the Tashlich Institute (a non-profit dedicated to the promulgating of intelligent ideas discussed at the area called tashlich). I would just like to share with all the bikers and biker gmachers and exercise bikers an article I read lately. Basically the gist of it is that eating like a pig and biking like Neil Armstrong doesn't help much. http://nymag.com/news/sports/38001/ The key is not to eat so much. Therefore my suggestion is that all the food you aren't eating because of this new discovery should be donated to the Tashlich Scholars Fund a fund I am establishing today for the buying and distributing of nicotine and tar packed rods of toabacco for the consumption of all those who visit the tashlich. I am sure that with the institution of this fund we will see an explosion of wisdom due to the more frequent visits to the Tashlich contributions can be given to me at any time of day or night.

Fast Forward: A Personal Odyssey

Note: This article was smuggled through the border of Communist northern California. It was written by HaRav HaGaon Reb Noam Chomsky Sheyichye, who is now a prisoner in the hands of San Francisco Communist rebels. G-d bless his tender soul, and may our prayers help deliver him from evil, speedily in our days. Amen.

Alas, I sit here broken hearted; I tried to bike, yet barely started. My friends, my flock, I cry out from the depths in despair. I sat upon the two wheeled throne of glory myself and tried to ride. I attempted to use Mendel's Bike to shed the layers which seem to sorround me constantly, clouding my mind and heart with their malignancy. I lasted for but a moment. You see, I had not the fortitude to tear through my own vanity. I was weak, and I committed a grave sin when I rode upon The Bike.

You ask how this can be. Your tears of shock are not surprising, as you have been led to believe that Mendel's Bike is the Savior for which the Jewish people have been waiting for thousands of years. I will say the following only once and one time only (for an interpretation of this doubled wording see the Book of Revelation chapter 6, verse 3): The followers of Shabbtai Tzvi are the ones who say that the Bike is the savior. They say this in order to blind your eyes from seeing the true savior, for if you see the true savior, you will finally be able to usher in that age when grapes will be the size of whales, and whales will have the taste of fetta cheese. The followers of Shabbtai Tzvi conceal the truth with their doubled edge sworded words. The true savior is yourself. Riding Mendel's Bike is not an end in an of itself, it is merely the channel through which you can find your true self. Finding your true self is the ultimate form of shedding your external layers, thereby filling the world with infinite light.

I made the mistake of riding the Bike for The Bike's sake, and the L-rd has smitten me down from my self annointed perch on high, and I now languish in a prison in San Francisco. I pray that when you ride The Bike, you do so with caution. I pray that you do so with Truth.

For the Cause

B''h
worcester

As one who venerates Mendel sheyichyehs selflessness, I trust that this too is an act that will further perpetuate the Rebbes' legacy.

Why else might a think-tanking entrepreneur (be it in the Chasidic movement) want to shed hard earned pounds.

With much Happiness,
Mo

Editor in chief: Is there a way we 'layleaders' can donate per mile?

The Little Metaphysical Bike That Could

Since writing about Mendel's bike, I have been bombarded by well-wishers and nay-sayers alike. One thing that struck me was that some of you had complained that the picture of the bike I had chosen was not, in fact, an exercise bike. I am shocked, to say the least, that anybody could be so blind-eyed and foolish.

My friends, this exercise bike of Mendel's in not a physical bike (though it is). What it is is a vehicle to move him forward towards that place of his endless dreams. It is not a physical journey that he seeks, rather it is a metaphysical one; a journey without a beginning nor an end. So, while I do publish a photo of an exercise bike, remember that we speak not of a mere transient journey, we speak of a sort of traveling everlasting edifice that Mendel plans to construct. Yes that's right, a moveable edifice. Figure that one out Norm.

Wishing all of you a successful odyssey to wherever your minds shall take you.

Mendel Got a Bike: A Poem

Today Mendel got himself an excersise bike. Oh the joy! The whirlwind sounds of Mendel biking his baked-zitti-pounds away! I wake up to the soft whirring sound, I drift into a peaceful slumber with it too.

An Ode to a Simple Bike

Mendel got a bike today,
The pounds will forever go away,
Young and slim he shall be,
Forever, as mighty as a tree.

Oh the joy; Oh the lust,
His fat will be swept away like dust.
The bike shall be his way,
To start a brand new day.